If you don’t love yourself

Nobody else will do.

We were not raised to love ourselves. Because loving ourselves can make us selfish, proud, or arrogant. Because loving ourselves won't let us want more from ourselves and to push our limits. And probably this is not ok for some people :D

When I started with the personal development process, I understood that ”being the best” is not the most desired thing. But ”being the best for myself” it is. If the difference is too subtle, let me say it more clear: you can be the best in front of others, but you can’t like yourself. This will make you not consider yourself being the best and you will be unhappy.

Self-love is the feeling of acceptance when you look or think about yourself. Also, it can be felt as confidence, positivity, or happiness.

Sometimes, we feel it easier to love others than to love ourselves. Loving yourself is not easy, but it can be learned with constant practice.

 So, let’s see some things that can be done:

• Don’t compare yourself to others. Each of us has a thing where we are the best and this makes us different. In Romanian, we have a saying ”you can’t compare apples with pears”.
• Know and value your strengths. We all have gifts, but sometimes we might forget them. Be honest with yourself, but pay more attention to your qualities.
• Be kind with your mistakes. Sometimes we tend to be hard with ourselves. It would be easier probably to focus on things we can improve and what we learn from each mistake.
• Forgive yourself, heal yourself and be grateful for what you are.
• Do fun things and spend time with your hobbies. This will make you positive and it will give you a purpose.
• Accept that some people won’t like you. It’s ok because you also don’t like everybody.
• Write your successes. Some years ago, I started to use a jar with good things and it feels so amazing when you read all the notes and you remember all that good moments
• Express your feelings. Maybe we didn’t grow into an environment where we felt comfortable sharing how we feel. And as adults, it became difficult to do this. What you can do is to be conscious about how you feel inside and try to show it outside (even if is awkward in the beginning).
• Take care of your body. When you feel good physically, it is easier to be comfortable emotionally.
• Find a support team. Your family, some friends, or some specialists (as therapists) - it has to be somebody on whom you can count when you need support.

When I started to pay more attention to myself and to be kind to me, there were people around me that didn’t understand me. I received reactions like ”why didn’t do that?” or ”how have you done that mistake?”. And I learned to answer that ”for me, it is not important what it was because I can’t change it; I focus on what I do in the future”.

Take care of yourself!

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